Life After Divorce

Envisioning your life after divorce is crucial for making a wise decision about whether to end a marriage. Finding a new soul mate is a roll of the dice, as are unfulfilled storybook fantasies.

It’s smart to wait several years after your divorce to consider a new relationship in order to gain a sense of independence and understanding of a new you. Being single can be a satisfying lifestyle choice. In the meantime, your ex might move on relatively soon. Many men remarry shortly after a split. Even if it was your idea to leave, this experience may raise unanticipated feelings.

If you have been a stay at home mom you have unique issues to consider. The most obvious is your potential to make an income to support yourself and your children, as well as the practical stressors that accompany being a double-time woman at home and at the office. In spite of great technological advances, it is still a challenge to be physically present in two places at one time!

Taking yourself out of the workplace to stay at home and raise your children is great for the family, but immensely expensive to you in the event of divorce. The challenge of convincing a court to consider lost income and the financial impact it has had on your life should not be underestimated. A savvy family lawyer understands these issues.

Pray...pause and ponder…

1. How will I feel about seeing my spouse with someone else after the divorce?
2. How will I feel about my children’s relationship with a surrogate mother at school functions, on special occasions, at sports events, or worship?
3. How will I feel about my spouse taking the children on vacation without me or with a new girlfriend or wife?
4. How will I explain the end of our marriage to the children?

Surrender to the moment of knowing. Visualize your life and your lifestyle with or without your spouse. Which vision emotes peace?

Cindy Hide, BA, JD, is Founder of Divorce Education for Women and author of 7 Steps to Divorcing Wisely: Do I Stay or Do I Leave?: A woman's guide to pray, pause and ponder... She offers family law legal services, telephone life coaching, seminars, FREE e-tips, a Professional Directory and an on-line bookstore with instant downloads, videos and jewelry to empower women in relationship transition. Visit http://www.DivorceEducationForWomen.com or call 713.599.0065.