Divorce is a Family Affair

Divorce is a family affair and reaction to news of the demise of your marriage might surprise you. Even in the most understanding and sympathetic households, bonds will likely be strained because of your split. Only you know the intimate circumstances of your life behind closed doors and your family may not understand. What might look to others as the perfect marriage might be very different when the two of you are alone.

Whether or not your divorce is a surprise to the world, the security and comfort of the emotional safety net in-laws and close couple friends provide may be compromised. Bloodlines can quickly define post divorce relationships. Severing ties with your mate also might include severing ties with your in-laws, too.

Prepare in advance to reduce the impact of this life transition, especially if you have children. The greatest gift you can give them is that of your time. Your love and attention is the foundation of their security and healthy development as individuals.

Try to anticipate problematic issues to deflect confrontation or disagreements about how, where, and with who time will be spent on special occasions or holidays. The Golden Rule is a helpful axiom to remember while modeling negotiation skills. If finances are strained, count all the things money cannot buy and you will feel rich.

Pray...pause and ponder...

1. How will my family react to the news of our split?
2. How will I feel if my family does not support the decision?
3. Can I handle isolation from my spouse’s family if they choose sides?
4. How will I feel during the holidays?
5. How will I feel during the holidays when the children are with their father?

Consider the words of Louisa May Alcott: “I am not afraid of storms as I am learning how to sail my ship.”

Cindy Hide, BA, JD, is Director of Divorce Education for Women and author of 7 Steps to Divorcing Wisely: Do I Stay or Do I Leave?: A woman's guide to pray, pause and ponder...She offers family law legal services, life coaching by phone, seminars, FREE e-tips and an on-line bookstore with instant downloads, videos, books, and jewelry to empower women in relationship transition. Visit http://www.DivorceEducationForWomen.com or call 713.599.0065.